Give it time to heal...who said that?

Saturday, July 19, 2008
Give it time to heal...who said that?
Current mood: blah
Right.....
I am a mother of two young daughters...thankfully can do things on their own, except drive. Legally.....
I have a husband who is always on the go......somewhere....
I have two beagles that beg for attention...constantly...
I have commitments to school and church....faithfully.....
I have tried to be a listening ear... a shoulder to cry on.....a hand to hold....
Oh wait, hold on....I have a text message......see, I'm busy!
Who said I had to give it time to heal? I don't have that kind of time. You know, I have had 4 surgeries in the last year. My dr said I have been exposed to too much anesthesia. That's why I can't sleep, with out helusinations. I'm cranky, ha, well, ..... I'm tired. I'm bored. I can't do anything. I can't even swim. It's hot here. Raise your hand if you are sure that Arizona is hell on earth in the summer??!! Anyone, oh good, everyone.
I was able to take the bandages off on Sunday (last) and they look good. A little too small. You know I have the largest size implant made that is approved by the FDA. 800cc. In a women with breast tissue that would be like larger than Dolly Parton. Not kidding. I have no breast tissue. I am not even a full b cup. So discouraging. I just am a big girl that has small boobs. Now, I have NEVER had small boobs, so forgive me for complaining about it. They are soft as pillows though. Nice.... And they move. I have to massage them around so that they "settle properly". Right. Nope, that's my job. Raymond CANNOT TOUCH THEM. Just cuz I said. They are BERY BERY tender.
So in about 3 months I will be able to start the reconstruction of the nipple. Problem is, in 3 months it's just before the 3 Day and I have commited to that. So it will probably be the week before Thanksgiving that I get my "nips" back. hehe...
THEN.....they tattoo. I don't know how long after that, but they tattoo. Yep. Long haul. I'm not alone, I know. I have been supported by TONS and TONS of hearts!!
I have about 40 lbs to lose. All that I have gained back since my surgery in Dec. Sucks, I really haven't been able to physically do anything. Walking. But it's toooooooooo hot.
So, starting tomorrow, oh who am I kidding....??...... I don't have the energy to start anything, not even the day.
Oh, I guess I will just give it time to heal.......... &$&( *
Right......

Just not the same....thank goodness

Sunday, July 13, 2008
Just not the same....thank goodness
Current mood: excited
Surgery went well, I guess. I don't remember. Ha. BUT I do know that I went in with rocks and came out with pillows!! They move, they don't hurt, of course I'm still on meds, but....the pain is from surgery not just cuz... I get to take the bandages off today and then can't wear a bra for 30 DAYS!! Weird. It's cool though, I won't be going anywhere that I would need a bra on anyway, hahahahaha!!
Just short and sweet today. I am still a little tired. Don't get the best sleep yet. I'll keep ya posted!! Kisses

So, funny story...

Thursday, July 10, 2008
So, funny story...
Current mood: strong
Or maybe it's not so funny....at least it wasn't in the beginning.... it can be laughed at now. Or made fun of, or joked about. But you know, I'm one of the fortunate ones that has that opportunity. Every once in a while, I will run into a friend that I haven't seen or heard from in a long time and I have to relive my story because they hadn't heard about my diagnoses or they hadn't heard it from me. It's harder than it sounds, to just be able to talk to people about what has happened in your life, when it comes to a life changing and life altering situations. I honestly have to say I have benefitted from telling my "story" every time I tell it. I think about friends of mine that have gone through different treatments and followed different advice, but it all comes back to this: I have cried my eyes out, I have poured my heart out, I have prayed my voice out, I have screamed my head off, I have slept my days away, I have stayed awake all night, I have even zoned out, all for what has happened to me in the last couple years of my life, and all that has happened in one day. But what I know, if anything at all is that I have learned to cry for the right reasons, I have learned to share my love for others, I have learned I can pray for anything, I have learned that dreaming is refreshing, I have learned that I don't want to miss a thing, and I have learned to focus and all the little things. I have learned all of this because I have shared my "story". Now, I want to share my story to help others learn. It's amazing how miracles can come from sheer devastation. I have surgery on Friday, July 11. The expanders will be coming out and I will FINALLY get the implants. I am so uncomfortable. I will have some surgery pain and then, and then, yep.............and then I will be as "normal" as the rest of them. Who, you ask? As "normal" as who? Well, me. Me.