Just ahead.....

Sunday, December 30, 2007
Just ahead.....
Current mood: sore
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
Okay, OK! I have stepped a little ahead of myself. I have been so sore and uncomfortable. I just can't find the sweet spot. (In more ways than one). I can't sleep without something to help me ie. Ambien. I have been doing some arm exercises. That is hard. I have been better!! I'm a mess. I still have yet to start injections and I am happy about that. I am not looking forward to that. Anticipation is killin' me.!!
I'll get through this, I promise. I won't be doing much but I hear that is the way to do it, by doing nothin'. Okay......

Finally a perfect fit!

Saturday, December 29, 2007
Finally a perfect fit!
Ok, ever since I had the bandages removed, I have had to use 4x4 squares with neosporin on them to keep the incisions moist. I have to change it everyday. Well, my insurance pays for these special bras and camis that fit snug and are made for this situation. I am allowed 6 per year. First of all, it's great that insurance covers this. I even got prosthetic boobs!! It's awesome! Anyway, keeping these bandages on and in place has been a pain. My skin around the incisions is still numb. So taping them on is silly. I finally have been able to put on this perticular bra that is similar to a sports bra and it keeps the bandages in place. FINALLY! They didn't move all night or for this afternoon. I love it. They are staying covered and in place. SEe when I bend over, which isn't to often, but when I do, every thing feels like it's dropping into my throat and it hurts. Gravity sucks, upside down!! But with this bra on, it doesn't move as far and it doesn't hurt as much. Yeah!! It's really going well, now........

Clearly I'm blessed!

Friday, December 28, 2007
Clearly I’m blessed!
I don't see this as "lucky". I know it's because I am blessed. I know it's because I have yet to finish my duties here on Earth. The Lord has more things in store for me. He does know that this experience will only make me stronger. Even if it has nothing to do with strength. I have experienced a lot of pain in my life of 32 years. I know there's a reason. Hopefully it's so my children don't have to go through it. Let's pray for that!!
I have been feeling good. Still sore. I went to the Dr yesterday and he said that things are looking good. As far as the incisions go. There is a little fluid build up but it is okay. He said that that will go away on it's own. It will still be a couple of weeks before we start the injections for expansion. Then I will be back on the heavy dose of vicodin. I have been told by a few that that part is the worst of it. GREAT!! I will let you know.
Christmas was great this year. Let me just say this.......
My name is Kimberly Harris, I'm 32 years old and I AM a breast cancer survivor.......
That's why Christmas was great this year...........that and we got Hannah Montana tickets!!!!
Happy New Year

What a what?

Saturday, December 22, 2007
What a what?
I can't believe I have gotten my Christmas shopping done! You guys, Raymond has been awesome!! He has only worked a total of 28 hours all month!! He has been home or out shopping for me. I actually have done some shopping online and have been able to take some trips to walmart and the mall, but still only for a little trip. I am so happy with how I feel. I know that makes a difference in recovery. Optimistic!! How can I not be. I have nothing else left!! I just hope I can keep this up!!! We'll see.......stay tuned!

A New Look???

Thursday, December 20, 2007
A New Look???
Ok so thru this whole process I have been told that it will be a long slow haul towards getting back to what they call "Normal". I don't know, normal? I was hoping I would be better than that. Well, after only two weeks, yep two weeks, I am already scheduled to start getting the injections of saline. I hear that hurts. Like this whole thing doesn't hurt? Come on!!!! I am just surprised at myself with how quickly I have come to feel this great. And before I know it, I will have boobs again. Biggin's too!!! That is what Raymond says anyway. I get to make the final decision. If any of you know, 6 years ago I had a breast reduction (4 lbs. removed). I am not into the big boobs thing. My dr was examining my incisions and said that I am going to heal perfectly. He even said that my tan line shows how perfectly set my breast are going to be. I first replied with "I still have a tan line??" I supposed that's a good thing. But there are special people that have special bras and camis that are made special for my body and procedure. I have a camisole that was covered by insurance. It is the same material that a baby's onies are made of. So soft. Well, today I am getting a few bras that are silky soft made specifically for me. They have these forms that can be tucked into the bra to make the look of breasts. It's so great that they have this option. And it's covered by insurance. They even come in several colors. Nice, huh? This is comforting. I just don't know if I am ready to wear REMOVABLE boobies....we'll see. EVERYONE wants to help and has. It's awesome. Anyway, moving along, slowly but surely. Maybe I'll take a picture or two and post them for you to see, promising nothing revealing...too bad....

Here we go......

Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Here we go.....
I am so excited with how I feel. I really haven't had to take my pain meds as often. It's awesome!! I still take it at night......
My Aunt (my mom's sister) had surgery last week, ten years ago she had a single mastectomy on her left side and had an implant put in. Well, it ruptured. So she had it fix last week and then had a lift on her right side to match it. She said she is in the worst pain she has ever had with all her surgeries. I hope she recovers like I have. My Aunt (my dad's sister) had surgery last week too. She has been suffering from her cycle for years and years and now has come to grips that something can be done. Well, she had surgery to have an ablasion and cleaning out of endometriosis and then had some fatty cysts removed from her stomach that were attached to her uterus. She too said she was in serious pain. I hope she heals fast too. I really feel blessed to have Raymond here to take care of me. My mom was here for the first week too. Awesome, my mom is awesome!! The girls have been fantastic!! I lovee my girls. They are the best!! I feel like my spirits are up today.....we'll see how the rest of the week goes! Happy Birthday to Raymond today! He's 35!! OLD!!!!

Week 2 No Bull....

Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Week 2 No Bull....
Wow....it is a day before two weeks and I FINAALLLY got the drain tubes out. I know that is gross to some and it was gross to me, but I have to tell you. As he was taking them out today, he says "on the count of three, take a deep breath, 1,2," and as he's counting he already started pulling I swear! I could feel that thing move from inside my chest. It had to be wrapped around my lungs, or my heart. Dang!!! It was weird. Raymond said the drain tubes were both about 12" long that he pulled out. That's sounds funny huh??? Out of my side!!! GROSS!!! I feel better though. Those things were stupid!! Anyway, went to my surgeon today and he gave me the report from pathology. No CANCER LEFT!! Yahoo!! It's weird to say that. I can't believe I had cancer to begin with. It's nice to know that I don't need chemo, like some that have to suffer through that. I feel for them. I don't need radiation. I am so blessed, it's awesome. I really have great Dr's too! Thank Heavens they chose this career to save me!! Love you guys! Muah!
Doin' good!

Breast Cancer Awareness

Sunday, December 16, 2007
Breast Cnacer Awareness Current mood: blessed
It's been just about a month and a half since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It's still really weird to say but that is the truth of it. I am a survivor of breast cancer....sad but true. So because of that, I have somewhat a different outlook on my life. I have always been happy. My family life is to be jealous of. My husband is a keeper and everyone know it. My children are fabulous and everyone wants their kids to be just like them. (bragging) I have a beautiful home. I have a nice car....love my van.....I have the best friends in the whole world wide web. I have the best sister and sister-in-laws...truely. My parents are awesome .....and still married after 30 some years.....I even have great pets..protective...cute..fun... I am a women of faith..which has been a major part of my life, especially lately....but what I have to be clearly aware of is keeping it this way. As of late, I have been a crier of sorts...hmmm? Do you know why? Well, I have had breast cancer and now I am a survivor! I believe I am allowed to cry....anyway...Sharing this with you all has really been theraputic. It's been easy to express my emotions here. I do hope it is enlightening. Love you!! XOXO

New Drug laws???

Saturday, December 15, 2007
New drug laws???
So, I have done it. I have cut back on my medication. You should be proud of me. I could have become dependant on this drug. I could have been living in a narcotic haze. But I'm not, I have dropped from two at a time to one at a time. All because..........I feel great!! Still need to the pain meds just not as much or as often. I feel great. I do have my sore days and bad emotional days, but I can handle that. I can handle almost anything, now. This is really a huge change, isn't it?? It's a huge improvement. Anyway, we will see how fast this really gets better. It's only one week and 3 days.......

One week and 2 days

OK, after one week and 2 days I have fianlly slept in my bed. I have been sleeping in a recliner. Comfortable but no match to the bed. I actually slept great last night. Only problem, when I felt the pain, it was worse than when I did in the recliner. In the chair I was upright and the blood wasn't rushing to the chest. I do feel great though. Went shopping yesterday and that lasted about 2 hours. Nice, huh? The girls will get Christmas this year!! Yeah! We got our tree up before I went in......
Still have these wonderful drain tubes in.....you wanted to know that huh? They suck. We go back to the doctor on Tues. I'll let you know.......

I'm Cured!!!!

They did it!!! They cured me!!! Got the pathology report yesterday and there is no residual of cancer left!! They got it all!! Yahoo!! And... the chances for recurrence are ZERO!!!!! Of course I'm happy! That is a feeling I didn't think I would get for a long time. I am in so much pain but that is some fantastic news!! Soon enough I will be used to it and then I will get my "boobies" back!

A New Emotion

OMG!! Thanks so much to all of you that have kept me and my family in your thoughts and prayers. I have been asking that you are all blessed tremendeously for YOUR prayers. I love you all so much. I have yet another emotion on my plate. As I sit here all day, trying to excerise my arms or watching TV half asleep, I have to also look at my NOW body and it is not pleasant. I know, I know, it will all be different when this is over, but as for now, this sucks. I know Raymond would never look at me differently and none of you would let him anyway. It's just not good. A friend of mine said she had "fried eggs" for boobs. I don't even have that. And it's going to stay like this for a few weeks. Then I get the saline injections and that will take months and months before they stick out there. I know I shouldn't worry about and in some ways, I'm not. BUT...if you could only see it. You would understand. I have absolutely NO cleavage whatsoever. In fact, they are a little sunken in. It's creepy, frankly. I am so bruised which is normal but it's just ugly. Well, I guess sometimes it hurts to be beautiful......just didn't think it would be this way. Anyway, thanks to you all for your prayers, even though I have no boobies, I don't have cancer!! That is fantastic!! And it comes with your help. I think this Christmas will have a bigger meaning to me and my family. Love you! Muah!

Recovery Day 5

Recovery-Day 5 Current mood: drained
Ok, so surgery went fine, I just can't have morphine. I guess they wouldn't let my mom and Raymond into recovery room with me until I was stable. I guess that took a few hours. I know a nurse in there told me to be quiet because I was scaring the other patients. And of course I replied with " and I'm not...and youre not helping me either". I remember that clearly, how could she ask me to be quiet. What a b!@$. I got home on Friday and got right on the pain meds. Love them! It's amazing how much pain I am in without the meds. OMG! I had a quiet weekend. My mom and Raymond have taken care of me. I love them both very much. They are probably tired of me or each other...who knows.... I went shopping today for a few hours. It was nice to get out. I was worried that people would look at me funny, but I covered up pretty good. My mom bought me some shirts that button up in the front so they are easy to put on. I have this wrap around my chest and it is tight. This binder is on with gauze and an ace bandage around my chest and up over my shoulder. Tomorrow, Tues, I go to the dr to have that removed and have the drain tubes taken out. Raymond has to drain the tubes and measure the drainage. That's why I love him.....I won't do that!! I can't wait to get this off and out.. Still a long road....but let's hope that I can take the loopty loops!! Hold on tight!

Day 2 or 5.....I don't know yet....

I cannot believe how great I feel. I am groggy and on my vicodin but life is good. As soon as I sober up, I'll post a more indepth blog on how I feel. Right now, Raymond is making fun of all my typos!! Love you guys and can't wait to chat somemore. Early detection!! It saved my life.........

Early detection saved my life.....

12-4-07
This year has been the worst and the best at the same time....crazy, I know. But that's my life for ya... Kayla turned 10 years old in January!! 10!! No, I can't even believe that and it happened right before my eyes!! In March, I thought I was having a heart attack in the middle of teaching a group of 1st graders. Horrifying!!! Ends up, I just had a gallbladder problem and had to have it removed. In May, Raymond and I celebrated our 12 year anniversary with a RAD 80's party!! It was like totally awesome dude!! June 5th, Raymond had his 4th surgery on his knee from his accident in '04. Still recovering from that. BUT in July, Karley had a HUGE birthday.. on 07-07-07 she turned 7!!!! She had 7 friends over and we had a party!! Dress up make up, the whole "7" yards!! Ha! At the end of July I was hospitalized with a severe kidney infection that had gone systemic....meaning it went through my blood stream and I had to be on antibiotics through the IV for a week. The worst pain I had ever been through and I have been through a lot of pain in my life. Then in August the girls and I started back to school and work. Kayla is in 5th Grade and Karley is in 2nd Grade. And as of current, they are having a fantastic year!! In September, I had to quit my job because I had some emotional issues that I couldn't control. See, 2 years ago, I had to have an emergency hysterectomy for severe endometriosis. That sucked! So, since, I have been on Hormone replacement therapy to help with menopause. Well, back in July while I was in the hospital, I wasn't given my meds in the hospital. Crazy huh? Well, I had to double dose my meds to catch up and make myself somewhat normal. Well, I was a wreck in the meantime. For that, I didn't want to make a scene anymore than I already had! So, I quit. In Oct, I had my yearly check up and as usual, went in without my dignity, lost that a long time ago! I had some pain on my right breast, which the doctor was sure was a strained muscle. But to be sure, he sent me in for a mammogram. Of course, I sighed saying "FINE!" even though I just had my last mammogram in Nov '06 and it was fine. My check up was on Oct 1. From Oct. 8-12 we spent a week in Mexico with the best friends ever! We had so much fun, we can't wait to do it again!! The Monday we got back from Mexico, I had my mammogram. There were a few spots that were of interest to them, only they were on my left side. On Oct 31 I had a biopsy done and on Nov 2, the doctor called with the news. Stage 1 breast cancer. I've had an MRI, blood work and medicine changes. And then there was Thanksgiving. Raymond and I made our very first turkey!! We have always been somewhere when someone else makes the food. It was great!! This is now were I get nervous. On Dec. 5th I am having a bi-lateral (double) mastectomy. 8-10 months of reconstruction. But if anything, I am getting that boob job Raymond has always wanted me to get!!!! Just not this way!! Girls, if I had not been so diligent on having my annual exam done, we would have never found this. Early detection saves lives. I am 32 years old and am going to be a survivor of breast cancer because early detection saved my life. Please, Please, Please, do yourself a favor and do your monthly self breast exam. I have a fantastic support system in my family and my friends. You all have no idea how blessed I am to have you. I love you and want you to know that I AM going to be around for a long time to do my best to make you laugh......hard....until you pee your pants!!